I'm 19 years old and have had a termination of pregnancy . I was 17 when I fell pregnant with my now ex partner. He was pretty quick to bring up me getting an abortion when I told him I was pregnant. I was angry with him as I always told myself I would never do that because I thought it was wrong, but finally being in this position I had a lot to think about and in the end, I realised I couldn't raise this baby and wasn't able to provide it with everything it would need and honestly I just wasn't emotionally ready for a child, so I went ahead with the termination. I was scared to go to the clinic, I had my mother come with me and support me as I didn't think I could do it alone and I can never thank her enough for all her support that day. It was quite daunting, but there were a few other people in the waiting room too, which helped calm me slightly. I filled out my paperwork, spoke with a few different people who worked there about why this is the option I wanted to go with, and then it was time for me to go to a different section of the clinic, the nurses took me and we got prepped for theatre, ultrasounds were done and then before I knew it, it was time for me to go into theatre. The nurses ran through with me what would happen in the procedure and then I was under anaesthetic and asleep. When I woke up I didn't quite know how to feel. I was sad because I knew what I had just done but I was also relieved because I knew I couldn't give a child everything it needed at that point in my life. Looking back it now 2 years on and I know it was totally the right decision for me, and I hate that there is such stigma around how 'bad' it is to have a termination of pregnancy when it isn't. Anyone who says it's the wrong thing hasn't been faced with the terrifying reality that they can't give a child what they need and that they aren't emotionally ready for that. We shouldn't be thinking abortion is bad we should be supporting people who go through with it because it's extremely traumatising.
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I was 20 when I found out I was pregnant, I had taken a morning after pill within 12 hours after the sex and still managed to fall pregnant. I knew straight away that I was not prepared mentally or financially to have a child so I went to my doctor, after her congratulating me on the pregnancy I watched her face change as I assured her that I clearly not pleased about being pregnant. I always thought that the lack of sensitivity on my doctor's part was strange considering that in her field of work some level of sensitivity would almost certainly be required.
Nevertheless I received a referral to a clinic, I called and spoke to the support staff on the phone. I was absolutely hysterical at this point, I had no information about the abortion process and all I could find on the internet was mainly horror stories posted by fanatical pro-lifers. The staff on the phone were fantastic - they ran me through every detail of the process and answered every question that I had. I think my lack of accessibility to correct information really exacerbated my fear. Once I had everything explained to me I felt so much calmer. It was normal, this was a standard minor surgical procedure, I was going to be completely fine. I booked my appointment for two weeks after that phone call. I had to cash in a years worth of accrued annual leave at my work to afford just half of the fee, which required an extremely uncomfortable conversation with my bosses, they were fortunately very supportive and open. The other half I had to borrow from a friends well off partner. I probably won't ever be able to tell my parents that I have had an abortion. My mother is extremely religious and I don't think my father would be too pleased either. I arrived at the clinic on that day and had my general consultation and discussion with the nurse. She ran me through both surgical and non-surgical options. I chose non-surgical as I have fears about being unconscious. I was sent through to the doctor for the second consultation. That was where I had to get an ultrasound. To me it felt like if I saw this ultrasound it would all become "real" for me. To my huge surprise - I was not made to look at the ultrasound, the doctor turned the sound off for me too. It was quick and I maintained my bodily autonomy throughout the process. I was then ran through the procedure and experiences to expect with the non-surgical (RU486 pill) termination method. You take the first pill to kick off the process while you are in the office with the doctor. She ran me through when to take the second pills, answered my extra questions and then my appointment was finished. The doctor was kind and I felt that she was in tune with my own feelings, she complimented me on my firmness of mind and reassured me that I had made a good decision. You have to go back to the clinic two weeks after a medical termination so they can confirm your body has cleared all the pregnancy tissues from your body. I booked my next appointment, paid my fee, and left. The next day, I started the non-surgical termination process at home. Three of my close friends at the time took the day off from all of their jobs to be with me. They baked me cupcakes, made me cups of tea and watched movies with me while my body rid itself of the pregnancy materials. I actually felt surprisingly fine that day, I was told to expect strong cramps but it was less severe than a regular period. I felt more and more relieved as the day went on. Another friend came in the evening and drove me to get burgers with her. I felt very secure being around all my friends and it was reassuring to be supported by people close to me. 10 days passed and I was hospitalised for a severe anxiety attack - I disclosed my termination and they re-tested me for pregnancy as a precaution - the test was positive, I was still pregnant. My appointment at the clinic was 3 days after that so I was told to discuss this with them when I re-attended. Back at the clinic I was ultra-sounded again and found that my uterus hadn't fully cleared itself so my body still thought it was pregnant and was still producing pregnancy hormones, hence the positive result. I was told that I would have to go under for the surgical termination process to remove the excess tissue. So, I went back for my second "abortion" a few days later. This time I was nervous as I am uncomfortable with being unconscious - I still am. When you go in for a surgical termination, you go through a series of little holding rooms. The first one is where you wait to meet with the anaesthetist, who was an amazing lady with short orange hair who assured me she had an abortion and now had two amazing children and was happy and confident with her decision and she was proud of me too. Once you meet with them you are given a little box, a surgical gown, a hair net and you get sent through to the second holding room with comfortable lounge chairs and a tv. This is where you get changed into the surgery clothes and your personal belongings go into the box you get given. This is the final stop before you go into the actual theatre. I was called into the theatre by the same anesthetist, she called me by name and made me feel extremely reassured. The theatre was light filled with high ceilings. The doctor was a small lady with a smile and kind eyes, there were two other nurses and another male anesthetist. Everyone says hello to you and is very normal and friendly, like you're going through the checkout to buy groceries. You lie down on the table and they run you through what's going to happen with the anaesthetic, then they hook you up to the anaesthetic and you're out. I woke up to people calling my name, and standing me up. I felt immediate, instant and complete relief. You walk out of the theatre after the procedure the same way you walk in except you go into a recovery room. I had made a note of the time when I had gone in and checked the time again in the recovery room. The process had taken a total of 8 minutes from walk in to walk out. I saw another girl waiting to go in and I made eye contact with her, smiled and told her that she was going to be alright and she did the right thing. She looked instantly relieved. The recovery room is 4 plush recliners and a really funny and kind nurse who gives you biscuits and juice and talks to you. I really enjoyed the recovery room. Its similar to after you donate blood. Once I was deemed fit to leave you change back into your normal clothes and then you head out to be discharged by the nurses at the front desk. I hugged them all because I was probably a bit woozy from the anaesthetic but also because I was and still am so genuinely grateful that they are able to provide people with this service. Its so vital and so very important that abortion is safe and accessible. I think the main parts of my story that I want to stress to people outside of this is that there is a huge stigma around abortion and that is simply because there is a lack of published knowledge out there. I felt immediately less afraid as soon as I knew the actual process and logic behind something and I feel that that's a natural part of human nature - the fear of the unknown. The second point that I need to stress is the great feeling of relief and calm that I felt immediately after and in the weeks that followed. I have never once regretted my decision and I am proud and open about my experience because I don't feel that its something I should be ashamed of or embarrassed about. I felt empowered that day knowing that I had exercised my right as a woman to control over my bodily autonomy and that is a feeling that has persisted with me in the years that have passed. I really hope that this helps someone to make their decision in future. If it helps one person feel better about their choice, then I will be really happy. I had an abortion just after turning 20.
After finding out I was pregnant via a home pregnancy test, my boyfriend and I decided to go to our local GP. Before going to the GP and immediately after finding out I was pregnant I decided I wanted to have an abortion. I knew abortion was, and still is, a crime in Queensland. I also knew that an abortion may be legal where the woman's mental or physical health is in danger. Armed with this information I went to my GP and after my pregnancy was confirmed, said that I wanted a termination. My GP told me that often male partners pressure women into having abortions and that perhaps my boyfriend should leave the room. I reinforced that this was my decision and it was safe for him to be there. My doctor reiterated the point about coercion and told me that counselling was available should I require it before having my procedure. My doctor then gave me the names of some clinics which may perform abortions. He also (incorrectly) informed me that abortion is only available up until 9 weeks gestation in Queensland. I asked what an abortion involves and he said that he did not know. Later I underwent my own research into the different types of procedures and found out there was an option, for terminations in the first trimester, of a medical termination, which involved taking a pill which induces miscarriage. I decided this option was less invasive even though some had commented that it was more painful than a surgical termination. I found it particularly hard to find reliable information around the different types of procedures. A lot of sites while posing to be independent and reliable, actually gave medically incorrect information. The only useful, accurate source I found was Children by Choice. I then tried to book an appointment at numerous clinics which all had waiting lists of at least 2-3 weeks. I had been informed that I was probably around 6 weeks gestation, so I was concerned that if I had to wait a few weeks, I may not be able to access a termination based on what my GP had told me. I booked an appointment with the first clinic which was able to offer a space in the next week. I went with my boyfriend. I spoke with a nurse before my procedure where she made sure I was freely consenting to the procedure. I was then moved into a room where my boyfriend joined me. I had an ultrasound done and confirmed that I was 7 weeks pregnant. The doctor confirmed that I wanted to continue with the procedure and she instructed me how to take the medication. She also informed me about the telephone service which I could call at any time should I have any medical concerns. My abortion cost me $575. I went home and took the medication. I was comfortable and in familiar surroundings. It was painful, but that was temporary. The only emotion I felt was immense relief. I was so thankful that I lived in a country where I could access health services, and that doctors were brave enough to continue offering these services, despite the law. I have never regretted my decision. Not once. I think about it a lot, but never with sadness or regret, only how different my life now would be if I was unable to exercise this choice. Despite my feelings about my decision, I am still very hesitant to talk about it and I have not told my family because of the fear about their reaction, a fear of being shamed, judged and seen differently. This isn't something I talk about however I would like to prevent more women in future generations having a similar experience I did.
had an abortion 3 years ago. The pregnancy was unwanted and unexpected. My boyfriend at the time - and now husband - and I were shocked. I was on the Pill, Diane, and had thought to be shielded. I was about to turn 24 and I was in not to be a mother. When I found out about the pregnancy I was roughly 5 weeks pregnant. My first move was to tell my partner. We discussed the idea of keeping the baby but quickly decided against it. It was a mutual decision and I couldn't be luckier to have such an understanding man in my life. He was a fly-in fly-out miner and intended to stay in that job for a couple of years yet to make some good money. I was thinking about going back to school and studying online so that I could start my own business; I was working in a hair salon at the time. Neither of us were in a stable enough position to start a family and we had only been together for 10 months. My sister had just had a baby and while I adore my niece I could see the huge amount of effort it is to raise a child. Once this decision had been made I went to my Dr. I had been seeing him since I was a child and was confident that he would direct me to a service provider. I had no idea what an abortion was really, only that they existed and that they were safe. I didn't know of anyone else who had, had one. I was shocked when my Dr told me he and his practice (two other male doctors) didn't perform abortions, didn't know about abortions and also that they would not direct me to anyone else who knew or felt differently to me. I was also informed that if I had an abortion I would be committing a crime. This information was most mortifying. I went home, called my boyfriend and burst into tears. I had never felt so insulted in my life and couldn't believe what had just happened. I had no idea that abortion was illegal and I didn't know that doctors could just turn you away like that. I sat on my couch crying for hours until I felt anger and went to my sister's house, got on her computer and researched. My sister and I found out that I would have to travel to get my abortion and that it would pretty much wipe out the last two months of savings for me when I added up the travel costs and the costs of the abortion. I hadn't even thought to discuss with my boyfriend about how we were going to pay for it. He was making good money but I was making a lot less. Plane tickets were an expense for me. I decided Brisbane was the best place to get my abortion as there were more clinics there than anywhere else in the state. I booked flights for the following week and arranged to stay with a friend. She knew what I was there for and didn't ask questions. She booked me in with her GP and I went to her the day after my flight. The closest abortion clinic to us was in Bowen Hills and luckily I was able to make an appointment there for three days after my appointment. I had to have an ultrasound which I was able to do the day after my Dr appointment. I was now 8 weeks pregnant. I had a surgical abortion and the whole process took half a day. My friend dropped me off and picked me up and I went home and slept. I went home three days afterwards. When I added up how much the abortion cost me financially the figure came to $1500 including plane tickets, the procedure itself, the Dr appointments and the loss of the extra money I made from work when I put in extra hours. I split the cost with my boyfriend but $750 was a huge sum. I don't really think about my abortion now. But I know my life is better as a result. I could not have become a mother at that age and I would have been a rotten one. I don't see my decision as selfish or cruel and I definitely don't see it as a criminal choice. But I feel guilty when I talk about it, because I might insult someone which cause them to lash out at me. I know that I did the right thing by me. I still haven't met another woman who has said she's had one but that doesn't mean that there aren't women who also live in remote towns that haven't needed one. I had to fly somewhere to get the medical care I need. But that's pretty common for people who don't live in a capital. It shouldn't be the case though. I am a happy woman who doesn't have kids. I'll have them some day when I'm ready to start a family. Maybe someday I'll really think about kids but for now I am happy with my life. |
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November 2017
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