Today women in Queensland have had the right to vote for over 120 years, but still risk being charged under the Queensland Criminal Code 1899 for making choice about their own bodies and caring commitments. Having a baby is bigger than just pregnancy and birthing. It is entering into a caring role requiring a physical, emotional and financial commitment for the rest of your life.
I have always believed that abortion is a choice that women should be able to exercise in a safe, informed and nonjudgmental way. Like so many before and so many after, I never thought that I would have to make that decision. The irony of my story is that I always wanted children, but it didn’t come easily. Finally after five years of IVF I was pregnant. I was glowing. It was an easy pregnancy. Everything ran smoothly until the baby was diagnosed with Down’s syndrome. I did not want a designer baby, but being responsible for a child who would need care their entire life and could out live me by 35 years was daunting. My husband was even more concerned about the caring for a child with high needs. For a couple that had been actively trying to conceive for many years it was a difficult decision. As it is for anyone contemplating an abortion. We considered all our options, discussed the practicalities, our feelings and futures. After a few days we came to the decision to terminate the pregnancy. Throughout the process we were supported by the team of medical practitioners who were well informed, professional and compassionate. I thank them all for looking after my body and our wellbeing during this challenging and painful time. This is not a story that I have told often. I do not have children and never will, but I believe that I made the right decision. Talking about abortion, especially when you are faced with it, is almost taboo in our community. It should not be that way. Many women choose to have an abortion for many different reasons. The decision is hard enough as it is without interference of the anti-abortion lobby and the archaic laws we have here in Queensland. I respect that people don’t believe in abortion. If that is how you feel don’t have one. What I don’t understand is how this belief makes it so difficult for women to make informed decisions about their lives and the lives of those they care for in a safe and supported way.
0 Comments
“So we’re talking termination then?” I whispered. “Yes, people have terminated for much less serious conditions”, the doctor said. It was at that point I just wanted a hole to appear in the floor and for it to swallow me up. Was this really happening to us? Aside from losing my father suddenly to a heart attack several years prior, the next 2 weeks were the most difficult I had ever faced. It was 2007 and I was 15 weeks pregnant with my 3rd pregnancy.
We had one daughter who was born with a rare genetic chronic health condition. We’d had one miscarriage at 7 weeks, and this pregnancy was our second shot at having another baby. For us, having another child was a huge decision we had mulled over for some time. We had a 1 in 4 chance of having another child with the rare genetic condition. The condition was manageable and we decided to try for a sibling and take our chances. We had Chorionic villus sampling (CVS) done at 11 weeks to confirm the sex of the baby. This involved taking a small sample of the placenta via a needle so that genetic testing could be performed. We wanted to know if we were carrying a baby with the rare condition our daughter had. There were some pre-natal options, which included medication that could be prescribed if this was the case. We had discussed termination and decided we wouldn’t if the baby had the condition. We found out we were having a boy. We also found out that the boy didn’t have the genetic condition our daughter had. We were thrilled. This joy was soon to be crushed. Several days later we received a call to go back to the clinic to talk about further chromosome testing that had been completed. We were advised that the baby had a rare chromosome deletion. The doctor said it was like being struck by lightening twice. The condition was probably going to be fatal and it would be unlikely that the baby would live to full gestation. If he was born, he would probably die soon after birth. We drove back to our home in Toowoomba from the clinic in Brisbane. Neither of us spoke. We were both in shock. We already had a child with complex medical needs. How could we face another one? We had no family support where we lived due to my husband’s job. The scenario was overwhelming. I don’t remember the actual conversation, but we both knew that we had to terminate the pregnancy. I couldn’t face going through with a pregnancy knowing that the baby was unwell and probably going to die inside me. My local obstetrician, who had been monitoring my pregnancy, flew overseas the day after we found out the test results. He apologised profusely saying he would have done the termination locally but wasn’t able to because of his impending travel. He told me to call the local public hospital and gave me a few other phones numbers to see if I could arrange the termination. I sat on the floor of our lounge room calling all of the numbers while choking back tears. No one was available or able to perform the surgery. I was told that all the doctors that could perform it were unavailable or away. I phoned a private clinic in Brisbane. They offered to do the abortion for me for $1700. This was a lot of money for us. I called my husband at work and he said “Whatever it takes”. Eventually I searched online for ‘abortion’ and the Children by Choice website came up. By this stage I could barely talk but a lovely counsellor on the phone managed to work out what I was trying to say and offered to advocate on my behalf. Here I was, a married mother of one in my mid thirties, with financial means but unable to get anyone to perform the termination. A few days later, I received a phone call from a nurse at a public hospital in Brisbane. She told me they had a foetal management specialist surgeon at the hospital that could perform my termination. I couldn’t believe I had finally found someone. 2 weeks later we drove to Brisbane, again in silence. We had arranged for my husband’s parents to mind our 2 year old daughter. I had the procedure performed to terminate my now 17 week pregnancy. During the procedure the doctor accidentally perforated my uterus and I bled internally. I needed to have some additional surgery to fix this. Instead of one day in hospital I spent several. Despite the complications and the additional surgery, I can’t tell you how relieved I was to have finally been able to have the pregnancy terminated. It had been the longest 2 weeks of my life. We went on to try again for that second baby and I gave birth via caesarean to our youngest daughter in 2008. I have never once regretted my abortion. What was difficult for me was the incredibly frustrating process I faced in actually arranging to have the procedure done. I wanted to have control over my own body and my own life choices but it felt like I didn’t. It should never have been this hard and I feel for all women who face barriers to a safe and accessible abortion. “So we’re talking termination then?” I whispered. “Yes, people have terminated for much less serious conditions”, the doctor said. It was at that point I just wanted a hole to appear in the floor and for it to swallow me up. Was this really happening to us? Aside from losing my father suddenly to a heart attack several years prior, the next 2 weeks were the most difficult I had ever faced. It was 2007 and I was 15 weeks pregnant with my 3rd pregnancy. We had one daughter who was born with a rare genetic chronic health condition. We’d had one miscarriage at 7 weeks, and this pregnancy was our second shot at having another baby. For us, having another child was a huge decision we had mulled over for some time. We had a 1 in 4 chance of having another child with the rare genetic condition. The condition was manageable and we decided to try for a sibling and take our chances. We had Chorionic villus sampling (CVS) done at 11 weeks to confirm the sex of the baby. This involved taking a small sample of the placenta via a needle so that genetic testing could be performed. We wanted to know if we were carrying a baby with the rare condition our daughter had. There were some pre-natal options, which included medication that could be prescribed if this was the case. We had discussed termination and decided we wouldn’t if the baby had the condition. We found out we were having a boy. We also found out that the boy didn’t have the genetic condition our daughter had. We were thrilled. This joy was soon to be crushed. Several days later we received a call to go back to the clinic to talk about further chromosome testing that had been completed. We were advised that the baby had a rare chromosome deletion. The doctor said it was like being struck by lightening twice. The condition was probably going to be fatal and it would be unlikely that the baby would live to full gestation. If he was born, he would probably die soon after birth. We drove back to our home in Toowoomba from the clinic in Brisbane. Neither of us spoke. We were both in shock. We already had a child with complex medical needs. How could we face another one? We had no family support where we lived due to my husband’s job. The scenario was overwhelming. I don’t remember the actual conversation, but we both knew that we had to terminate the pregnancy. I couldn’t face going through with a pregnancy knowing that the baby was unwell and probably going to die inside me. My local obstetrician, who had been monitoring my pregnancy, flew overseas the day after we found out the test results. He apologised profusely saying he would have done the termination locally but wasn’t able to because of his impending travel. He told me to call the local public hospital and gave me a few other phones numbers to see if I could arrange the termination. I sat on the floor of our lounge room calling all of the numbers while choking back tears. No one was available or able to perform the surgery. I was told that all the doctors that could perform it were unavailable or away. I phoned a private clinic in Brisbane. They offered to do the abortion for me for $1700. This was a lot of money for us. I called my husband at work and he said “Whatever it takes”. Eventually I searched online for ‘abortion’ and the Children by Choice website came up. By this stage I could barely talk but a lovely counsellor on the phone managed to work out what I was trying to say and offered to advocate on my behalf. Here I was, a married mother of one in my mid thirties, with financial means but unable to get anyone to perform the termination. A few days later, I received a phone call from a nurse at a public hospital in Brisbane. She told me they had a foetal management specialist surgeon at the hospital that could perform my termination. I couldn’t believe I had finally found someone. 2 weeks later we drove to Brisbane, again in silence. We had arranged for my husband’s parents to mind our 2 year old daughter. I had the procedure performed to terminate my now 17 week pregnancy. During the procedure the doctor accidentally perforated my uterus and I bled internally. I needed to have some additional surgery to fix this. Instead of one day in hospital I spent several. Despite the complications and the additional surgery, I can’t tell you how relieved I was to have finally been able to have the pregnancy terminated. It had been the longest 2 weeks of my life. We went on to try again for that second baby and I gave birth via caesarean to our youngest daughter in 2008. I have never once regretted my abortion. What was difficult for me was the incredibly frustrating process I faced in actually arranging to have the procedure done. I wanted to have control over my own body and my own life choices but it felt like I didn’t. It should never have been this hard and I feel for all women who face barriers to a safe and accessible abortion. |
#myabortionstoryA blog dedicated to telling the stories of Queenslanders.
We will always protect the identity of anyone wishing to share their stories in a safe place. Submissions may be made anonymously. Archives
November 2017
|