I was 21, I've moved here from Canada for my Australian partner whom I met briefly in the states the previous year and had to come and visit. We had been together since I came to Australia in March 2015. It's a real love story.
I noticed my period was late and I was getting concerned so I bought a pack of 3 pregnancy tests. I used one when I got home and could faintly see the second line, indicating positive. I think I knew it was correct but didn't want to believe it, and would test again in the morning. I was at my partners house waiting for him to get home from work that day and feeling really confused but I knew he would be supportive and just as surprised as I was. I knew that abortion was the only outcome I wanted. I was a few weeks away from 22, working as a bartender, living across the world and living a travellers lifestyle. I told my partner and all he said is I support anything you want. He has a very strong career and if need be could support a me and a child. I told him that I wanted it terminated. He agreed that was the best idea but really wanted me to know what I didn't have to if I didn't want to. The next day we researched clinics and the difference between medical and surgical. I thought I would be early enough to do a medical. I went to a clinic called Options in Spring Hill. I couldn't stop crying I was terrified, abortion was something I had always supported but never thought I would need one or knew of anyone I knew having had one. I was given an appointment fast and was very relived there was no protesters present. I sat in a waiting room with a few other women, none of us looking at each other and first I had to speak to a counsellor by myself and explain my situation and why abortion was the correct decision. It was so she could seem it necessary for my mental and well being. She was very patient and understanding, I was so nervous I sobbed the entire time. After discussing with the counsellor I waited with my partner to see the doctor. They allowed my partner to talk to the doctor with me, the doctor took my blood and preformed and ultra sound. He confirmed I was about 6 weeks. Explained how a medical abortion works and what will happen. I was administered the first pill and given 4 pills to take four days later. My partner took me to get my favourite ice-cream after the first doctors visit, it's one of my favourite memories we share. We both didn't know what to do and it was a nice gesture. The morning I was about to take the second dose of pills I set my room up so I wouldn't have to leave the entire day, water, snacks, hot water bottle, and a bowl incase I threw up. I had peanut butter toast and then put the pills in my mouth against my gums and cheeks and let them sit there for half an hour. I could feel cramping starting even from them sitting in my mouth. When I swallowed them I immediately felt like I was going to throw up or have diarrhea. Half an hour later I ran to my bathroom and threw up everything. I thought maybe I had thrown up the pills so I called the clinic and explainer my concern and they told me I was fine and asked a few questions. I was already bleeding which was a good sign. I spent most of the day in my room. I wanted to be alone I hugged a hot water bottle and tried to sleep the cramping came in waves and was like the worst period of my life. My partner came over later in the day. I told him I really wanted to be alone during the day and he respected that. We had a nice quiet night and I just rested. I bled somewhat heavily for a few days then it was just a constant for about 10 days. I returned to the clinic for a follow up and an ultrasound and it went well. Since I do not have Medicare the total cost was around 900.00 I feel so lucky to have had the option to safely terminate the pregnancy. I cannot imagine not having an option. A few months following I was struggling with it I think being away from home and only really trusting my partner with it made me feel very isolated. I called the clinic to ask for a counselling service and they weren't very helpful. I found Children By Choice from a Google search and set up an in person counselling session and I wish I did it a few weeks after it was over instead of months later. I think they should be recommended to every women to at least have a short phone call after any abortion even if you think you are handling it well. I still sometimes wonder "what if" and sometimes it upsets me. I made the right decision but i can't help but wonder. It's a tricky thing. I wish abortion wasn't so hush hush. It makes it extremely difficult to reach out for help. That's my story.
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November 2017
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