I was 21 and had been with my partner for around 5 years, we always used protection and I was on the pill. My partner and I had talked about kids, but decided we weren't anywhere near ready to start a family. I didn't realise I was pregnant until around 7 weeks along.
I was making dinner that night and thought I was cooking off chicken it smelt horrendous and I could barely control the urge to puke, I figured I just had a bug, but something kept me awake that night and by morning I was adamant that I was pregnant. My partner and I went out twice that day, the first to buy a box of pregnancy tests with the two tabs. But we were positive the 6 separate tests with the faint second line were not sufficient evidence. So we brought the clear blue test and it confirmed my worst fear, I was indeed pregnant. I remember trying to keep it together in the toilet when I saw the word Pregnant, but I just couldn't stop myself from think my life was over. I had big plans, a home, travel, a career. I was independent I didn't want to rely on my partner to support me and a child. I didn't want to tell my partner because then it would become real. I stayed in the toilet for what felt like ages and when I came out and burst into tears he knew. I remember saying over and over, I just finished being a kid how can I be having one already. I was very lucky to have a supportive partner he said that it was my choice, my life and my body and whatever I decided he would support me. I called my mum in tears and told her everything she asked me what I was going to do, I told her I didn't want a baby but knew I didn't have a choice. My mum explained everything about abortion and about pregnancy, she wasn't biased and explained she had been through both. I finally felt like I had a choice. Within 20 minutes of being off the phone I knew I wasn't ready to have a baby, we had just moved to another rental, had low income jobs and I had always told myself I wouldn't want a child to be raised in a home where we couldn't afford to give them the opportunities they deserved. I told my partner that I didn't want the child and I think he was as relieved as I was. I went to the doctors to confirm my pregnancy and as soon as she came back with the results, she was congratulating me and telling me what prenatal vitamins to take. When I said I didn't want the child she said but your 21 this is the prime time to start a family. I insisted I knew what I wanted and did not want a child I could not support. She reluctantly gave me the number for the Brisbane clinic. I was booked into the clinic a week later. My partner to took the week off and drove me to the clinic, I was scared when I first arrived, I thought I would be judged but the staff were lovely and kind. I spoke to a counsellor first and she asked if it was definitely what I wanted. I assured her it was. I got changed into the paper gown and was called in for my ultrasound, I was 8 weeks pregnant, they then took me in to be prepped and put under. all the ladies where lovely and it was over in 30mins. I woke up in the recovery room. The atmosphere had certainly changed everyone seemed happier. I think we were glad to know we weren't pregnant. I spent the next few days sore and tired but relieved. 4 years on and I do not regret it, Within six months of my abortion, we had secured better jobs, brought our own house and finally started to feel stable. Instead of struggling to make ends meet on one income in a rental. I know I made the right decision to this day and do not feel guilt or regret for my decision. At 21 I barely knew who I was let alone trying to raise a child on my little experience in the world. Queensland needs to be a state where we accept that it is every woman's right to choose if and when they procreate. I understand everyone has a view that does not match mine but not giving the option will only lead to women trying to perform abortions themselves and higher suicide rates. We deserve the right to choose our futures.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
#myabortionstoryA blog dedicated to telling the stories of Queenslanders.
We will always protect the identity of anyone wishing to share their stories in a safe place. Submissions may be made anonymously. Archives
November 2017
|